"I'm brown, not black"

Meron recently had an incident at school that began with a boy in her class referring to her as black. She took serious offense to this. At first, I wasn't sure what to think. Was she rejecting her skin tone? her heritage? herself?

But then after much discussion it really came down to the fact that she was taking it literally. I tried to explain to her that it was just terminology. That it was just a way to refer to people who had, in some way, descended from Africa. She of course wanted to know "Why don't they just say African, then?" I, of course, explained that a lot of times people do say African-American instead of black, but she wasn't satisfied with this either.

After much more discussion, she finally decided that she was okay with African-American, but did not want to be referred to as black.

Over the next couple of days, she began pointing out different people of different shades asking if each was "black". When she found a Hispanic individual who she thought should be labeled as black she did not except well my explanation that the person was descended from Latin America, not Africa. She became really perturbed when she pointed out an Indian lady whose skin tone was very similar to her own and I advised that she also did not descend from Africa (at least as society sees it.)

At one point, I even talked to her about how I am considered white. Her response to this was to point to a piece of paper on a nearby table, "That's white, not your skin." I asked her what color would she call my skin, and she replied "tan... kind of pink... but not white."

Finally after many days and many discussions she said to me "Mom, I have never seen a person with actual black skin. Not even when I lived in Ethiopia. Whoever made up that name is stupid."

So, Meron is not rejecting her skin or heritage... she's just rejecting the terminology. I can't blame her... in most cases it does appear to be a misnomer. I have to admit that I have seen very few individyals whose skin tone was even close to being black... the vast majority I would definitely classify as some shade of brown. Not that it matters how I classify some one's skin tone...

Meron has decided that she will correct people when they refer to her as black. She will tell them that she is Ethiopian, or African, or African-American... I think this is fine for now, but I do see how it could cause problems in the future. I can see how someone, at some point, is going to view this as a rejection of her heritage, or something, and will take offense... especially if the person knows we are her family...

Luckily, though, Meron is very proud of her beautiful dark brown skin. I hope that she will always be...